what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
