Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
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I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We have started to decorate penises.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
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"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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