Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
