if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
