I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
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