Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
