was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Shame - the story of my life.
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