I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
