is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
