its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize