I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
