Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
