I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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