I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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