dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
try to milk me bitch
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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