1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Umm I'm too high to move.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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