he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
