Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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