my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
