well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
