That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize