I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
