So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
