My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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