We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
