Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
