were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
