so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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