You're my little dorito
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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