They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
