I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
