Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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