Is it normal to miss your booty call?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
