It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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