My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
