so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
