It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
