I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
