all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
