fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
do herpes really smell.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
