Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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