He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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