i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
