I love black thongs
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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