If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She's the barista slut.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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