I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
