Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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