At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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