Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
