Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My ass is underappreciated
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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