i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
