He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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