mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
