i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
