Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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