I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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