We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
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i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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