Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
